redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
