the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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