genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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