PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
