they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
