Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
