Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
