Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
