I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Rumble strips road head = magical
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
