hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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