so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
