How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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