What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
