I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
