What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
