So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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