Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
