You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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