She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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