just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I had to cum in my sink.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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