For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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