so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
