This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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