i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
