Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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