You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
