if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I could have mohawked her pubes.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i now understand why vodka
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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