Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
