yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Your topless pictures make me question reality
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
