I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
