I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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