I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
