i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
