hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
