Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
