You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
