just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize