well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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