eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
