He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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