the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
