But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
whose parrot is this?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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