she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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