when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You are a genius and a whore.
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