We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
