I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
my poor anus
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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