Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
