i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you have to choose: penises or morals?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
as a side note pls kill me
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
