i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
