I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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