Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
