apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
