We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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