I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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