What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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