I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
His nipple licking is glorious
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