Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
