so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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