I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
