I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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