Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
