Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese

Fav 11 3498 869
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(949): View more from California

im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume

Fav 27 1474 4420
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.

Fav 17 3937 1726
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.

Fav 19 8740 1440
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(714): View more from California

The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.

Fav 16 1272 3007
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed

Fav 14 2941 1130
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(214): View more from Texas

I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.

Fav 5 1396 676
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(941): View more from Florida

Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music

Fav 0 144 16
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(443): View more from Maryland

Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident

Fav 0 86 7
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