He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
