Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
