I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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