dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You are the jesus of drinking
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
