i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
