new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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