I wanna passion pit in your ass
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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