I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
