break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
