at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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