If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
