Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
