and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
