smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
