We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I want a musical about memes.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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