I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
